Married to a Pedophile: “Pedophiles Are So Credible and So Charming!”

Have you ever questioned the statistics about how many children are sexually abused?  One in five girls and one in every twenty boys have been sexually assaulted in the United States — and this statistic is only for the abuse that has been reported!  It’s a fact that due to repression  or  fear of being hated, ugly, and unloved, most children will never speak out about their childhood sexual abuse.

The facts are daunting and at times unbelievable until………..until the sexual molestation somehow becomes personal.

To be perfectly honest, I never really thought at all about children being molested.  In fact, I really didn’t have knowledge that such evil existed.  Not until my husband — the man I loved and adored for almost forty years — was arrested for child molestation!  Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “Getting Bolder by the Day!”

It’s difficult for me to imagine that so many others have lived a life very similar to mine!  I find solace in knowing that I’m not alone, but I also find deep heartbreak knowing that abuse is still happening.  It’s impossible for me to put into words how I feel about knowing for a fact that children continue to be sexually molested every day.  There are times when I can’t sleep at all because that thought haunts me every minute I’m alive.

If you are new to this blog, I suggest you start here.  This is quick reading, but I won’t promise you it will be easy reading.  But, if you are interested in knowing how to keep your children safe from sexual predators — most likely people who you know — then you have found the right place.

In my last post I mentioned how I was now separated from my husband.  And, when we separated he became even more of a shining star to his children, to his church, and to the community in which he was so well known.  However, as I had the opportunity to step back and really look at him, I was beginning to see more than just odd behavior.  I was seeing behavior that was bizarre and often frightening!   Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: Every Human Soul is Precious!

Because this blog is growing and being shared by thousands, I am hearing more and more from adults who were sexually abused when they were children.  I must tell you that every time I hear another story, my heart bleeds just a bit more.  I had no idea that so many children have suffered silently in this horrifying pain!

It is always so wonderful when I hear of victims of abuse who have come through this dark, painful tunnel of despair and are now survivors.  They’ve made it!  Most of them will say, “I’ve found a Savior.  My God delivered me from the pain that was part of my life all of my childhood. I no longer feel the chains of shame.  I no longer struggle with the daily fear.  I no longer am filled with hatred and rage.  I am free.”

But, for many, I hear the heart wrenching words, “I want to die. I am physically impaired because of the abuse.  I feel unloveable.  I feel ashamed.  And, I don’t know how I can go on. Nobody could every love somebody like me!”    Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: The Unrelenting Search for a Live-In Nanny Job!

We should learn to follow our gut instincts.  When something seems “off” or just doesn’t feel right, there is probably something wrong.  When something seems so totally “odd” that you being to lose sleep over it, then pay attention while you’re tossing and turning in bed at night.

Listen to what your gut feelings are telling you! 

I knew something was very “odd” and “unusual” when the man I was married to began searching for a job as a live-in male nanny — a “manny” as he affectionately called it.  I was a bit more than irritated at him.  He had 5 years of college education, several years of experience as a preacher and also as a substitute school teacher.  He sold insurance for almost thirty years.  And, now at age 59 his life passion was to be a live-in babysitter!  There was something wrong, but I sure couldn’t figure it out!     Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: The Worst Thanksgiving Ever!

Thanksgiving was always among my top three most favorite of all holidays, but there is one Thanksgiving that will forever be a total nightmare — a disaster — and the one that will always stand out as the absolute worst.

It was always our family tradition to have a time of “giving thanks” prior to eating our meal.  We would go around the table and say the things we were most thankful for, and then we would end with a prayer.  This is a beautiful tradition, I think, and one that brings a family closer together and helps us all to appreciate one another more.

However, there is one Thanksgiving that was horrid, and that is putting it mildly.  As you know by now, our marriage was far from thriving.  In fact, it was pretty evident that our marriage was crumbling.  So, this was going to be a sad Thanksgiving, and    Continue reading