Married to a Pedophile: A Father of Abused Children Speaks Out

Today’s post is a difficult one for me to write.  Really, really difficult.  Why?  Because a father whose children were abused by my former husband is the one telling his story.  When I first met Dave and heard him speak at a child abuse workshop, I sat stunned as I heard the words he spoke with such sincerity and passion.

I asked Dave if he would consider sharing his story here, and he didn’t hesitate one second!  I wept as I read what he shared.  I wept as I thought about his daughters.  I wept as I was once again reminded of the evil actions that were committed against these precious innocent children.    *NOTE:  I have not changed any of the words of this father.  These words come straight from his heart.  Please read, and please become more aware of how pedophiles target young children in order to molest them.

“Hello, my name is Dave and I’m so humbled that I was asked to share my family’s story with you.  To give you a better understanding of how I came to know John Hinton I have to go back to 2009.  My wife, at that time, was arrested for felony child abuse.  Soon after I found myself divorced, lonely, and a single parent of five young children — four girls and one boy.

It didn’t take long until I became pretty overwhelmed very fast.  Having five young kids at the time was very demanding.  My oldest was only six-years-old. During this time in my life, I became severely depressed and I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  Life was beyond tough at this point.  I often thought about suicide.  I was taking care of my children, doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., and didn’t go anywhere and didn’t have a soul to call my friend.

I had no friends or family to help.  I was losing my mind.  My home became my prison.  The thought of suicide was always on my mind.  I saw no way out.  I needed so much help.  I was just surviving; I wasn’t living.  I was overstressed and had little sleep.  I was running on empty.

One day, while at my lowest, I was invited to go to church.  I hadn’t been to church in a while, so I thought if I went I could maybe get a little break from the kids and also have some much-needed interaction with other adults.

Reluctantly, I went to church.

It was during fellowship time — that time right after worship and before the message — when people of the church greet one another.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see a man making his way towards me.  He came over to me, shook my hand warmly, and introduced himself.

‘My name is John Hinton”,  and I quickly told him my name.  He quickly leaned down and picked up my second youngest daughter and started asking me a million and one questions. ‘Are you married?  Where is the mother of the kids?’ And, on and one he went with the questions.

That’s when I told him my story.  Other people surrounded me and were shaking my hand as John and I were talking.  People of the church said to me that John was a nanny.  They spoke so highly of him, telling me he was such a good man.  John told me that he himself had a very large family and he knew how stressful that could be — especially on a single dad.

‘Dave, you look very tired and in need of rest.’ And, I was.  I really, really was.  I was so excited I met John.  I truly believed he was an answer to my prayers.  So, John and I exchanged phone numbers.

A friendship had been made.

It wasn’t long after I met John that he began to call me every night on his way home from his babysitting job.  He always asked how the kids and I were doing.  We would talk about everything, and I often asked his advice on parenting.  We talked often about God and all of life.  We quickly struck up a friendship, and I was so thankful!

On one occasion John made his usual daily call and asked how the kids were doing.  I told him one of the kids was sick and I didn’t have any medicine.  John said he was on his way over to stop and watch the kids while I went to Walmart to pick up the medicine.  I got on my Harley Davidson and rode to Walmart.  John said, ‘Take your time.  Take all the time you need.  No need to hurry back.  Go get some quiet time for yourself.’

I had no reason NOT to completely trust John.  The church I was now attending spoke very highly of him. He had a babysitting job. But most of all he was a Pastor.    

John would now stop by my house every night after work.  We would sometimes stay up until 2:00 a.m. talking about God, life, and kids.  I asked him if he would be my mentor, and of course, without hesitation he said yes.

John said that the first thing as my mentor he wanted me to attend a Bible study every Saturday morning at the church.  He said he wanted me to go make some new relationships and he would gladly watch the children for me.

I loved this idea!  Again, another answered prayer!  I would get to study the Bible, have some much-needed time away from the kids, and get to form new friendships.  You would think I had won the lottery!

I really thought my broken life was on the road to healing.  Little did I know what was really happening!

Later on, through much pain and some difficult circumstances, I found out that John was molesting my children while I was at the Bible study.  You would think my kids would have been screaming and crying and trying to get away from this guy.  But, no!  I would come home and they all would be laughing and playing games.

One thing I found very odd, though.  The kids were all oily.  John called it “boo boo medicine.”  He said if the kids got a scratch, he would put the boo boo medicine on them and they got all better.

I believed him once again.  I had no reason to question this man who was so kind to me and my children. 

One day John called me very early in the morning and asked to take my girls swimming.  You see he always wanted to be with my girls and never my son.  So, I asked him why he wasn’t taking little Dave.  John had the perfect answer.  He said he couldn’t watch a special needs child because he would be running all over the place and he wouldn’t be able to keep a special eye on the girls.

Again, his answer was true.  My son does need a lot of special attention.  He has a functional form of ADHD, so I thought nothing of it when he said he couldn’t watch him.

Do you see how subtle John was?  Everything John said or did was well thought out.  He calculated every move so that he could be alone with my daughters without drawing any attention to what he was doing from me or other church members.  It all made perfect sense.  He was a fine mentor and it seemed like he was genuine and really wanted to help me!

Those who sexually abuse children are pros at manipulation!

So, John took all of my little girls swimming without me ever questioning him.  It got real late that day, and I began to worry.  I started calling his phone, but he never answered.  John finally called around 8:00 p.m. and asked if the girls could spend the night.  I told him I had been trying to call him because I was very worried.  He explained it away as always.

‘Oh, I didn’t have cell service at the park. There was no need to worry.  The girls are pretty tired.  Just let them stay with me and I’ll bring them home early in the morning.’

This went on for months.

I had no clue what was going on.  In fact, I continued to believe my prayers had been answered.  My kids were never afraid of John at any time.  In fact, they couldn’t wait to be around him!

I thought I had taught my children well.  Private parts are just that — private!  Little did I know how these predators work!

Please, from a father who has seen what can happen when a molester chooses your child, I pray that you will get educated!  A good place to start is Church Protect.

Thank you for reading my story.  I will finish the rest of the story at a later time.

Blessings, Dave”

Pedophiles are CalculatingMy heart is heavy as I think about these children and their father.  Do you see how John was able to weave his way into their family?  Do you see how he used their weaknesses and their loneliness to his benefit?  Do you see how easy it was to make everything look like he was a hero coming to the rescue of a broken family?

Thank you, Dave, for your willingness to share part of your story.  We look forward to you educating us more!

Please follow Dave’s advice.  GET EDUCATED!!!!!  This isn’t a game.  It’s for real.  There are predators among us and they are after YOUR children!

We must become educated.  We must become smarter than the pedophiles.  We must never underestimate their ability to harm.

We must protect our children!

If you are interested in a workshop or learning more about what you can do to protect your children, please email me at clarahintonspeaker@gmail.com or contact Jimmy at Church Protect.  We’re here to help!

Love,

Clara

10 thoughts on “Married to a Pedophile: A Father of Abused Children Speaks Out

  1. Pingback: Married To A Pedophile: “How Does A Pedophile Get Caught?” | Finding A Healing Place

  2. Cara,
    Could you give some insight as to why the children would want to be with the person? Why would they not be fearful of someone who was frequently harming them? I assumed that one way I would know if someone was harming my toddler would be that he would not want to be with that person.

    • Tracy, I feel as though an entire series needs to be written about this, but I’ll give you just a few reasons why children are sometimes not fearful of the abuser as was the case with these particular children. The abuser often “gives gifts” — and that is fun for kids! I don’t want to share a whole lot here because I believe the father of these children will be sharing more about how John manipulated these children with gift. They are made to feel special. “You are my beautiful princess, and I love you so much.” “I love you, and I want to touch you in ways that will make you feel really good.” “I will take care of you, and I don’t want you to ever be afraid of me. I’d never hurt you and I’ll never leave you like your mommy did.” “Do you want to go shopping with me? You can pick out anything in the store you want?” “Do you want to spend the day swimming? I’ll pack you a picnic lunch and we will all have so much fun.” And, on and on it goes. Keep in mind, these children did not have a mommy at home to take care of them, to nurture them, or spend time with them. She was abusive and was living away. And, at this time in life, their daddy was very depressed and often suicidal. And, then enters John on the scene — the fun man who gave them fun gifts, allowed them to buy any food they wanted, he spent time with them, and “nurtured” them. They really had no reason to be afraid. They were together. They were made to feel “special.” And, they were called “beautiful.” Every child craves love and attention — the abuse was worth the trade-off at the time to the children.

      My heart breaks just a little bit more each time I think about this.

      • This is exactly what Michael Jackson did. He didn’t off the bat abuse the children, no, he made phone calls, wrote them notes, gave them gifts, was generous to the parents of his victims, invited them to his home, went to their homes and slowly, but progressively brought them to a place of trust. Even the abuse began gradually and was labeled as “a loving thing to do”. He had built himself such a public persona of charity, gentleness, & caring for the children of the world, who would believe *he* would do such a thing! And even after the authorities uncovered a HUGE amount of pornography, some if it produced by pedophiles & some so deviant, it doesn’t disturb his “fans” one bit and they continue their ongoing efforts to defend him to this day.

        • I forgot to add:

          Once the children came to trust Michael Jackson he would implant the idea that it was the childrens’ idea to carry on sexually. He also had them rehearse answers to questions asked if anyone became suspicious.

          I don’t think there were any experts present at the molestation trial of 2005 to show just how he pulled off being a pedophile. Now one of his victims, Wade Robinson, has pressed civil charges since his original charges were presented too late; Statue of Limitations had run out. Judge still to rule on Civil charges. Let’s hope Wade finally gets some justice.

          • Ann, Thanks so much for bringing to light all of the similarities with the Michael Jackson case. You are so correct in saying that acts of abuse don’t occur singularly — it is a process of building trust, and it’s a “thrilling journey” for the molester to finally “get the prize.” Horrible! Absolutely horrible! And, yes, there is a desensitization that takes place. It’s happening right now with so many things — not just pedophilia — absolute wrongs are being done and we don’t seem to blink an eye. Why? Because these immoral acts are presented as being “normal” and this is exactly what the pedophile is banking on! I appreciate all of your thoughts so much. It is my prayer that people will open their eyes and truly see what is being done to children!

  3. Because Jimmy was able to have his 3rd annual Child Abuse Workshop on webinar, I had the opportunity to hear your friend describe his experiences earlier this year.

    It is heart breaking.

    Perhaps the only thing I can “do” is to pray.

    So I will pray.

    • Linda,
      Yes, indeed. This is heartbreaking for this family.
      I’m so glad that you got to hear this father tell his story at the workshop. I had never heard his story until then. My heart was broken then, and it continues to break.

      Is it any wonder that there are trust issues going on in people’s lives?

      I believe in the power of prayer, and your prayers will definitely help.

      Love,
      Clara

      • Hi Clara,

        Is there a way for others to watch the webinars if they weren’t able to attend?

        Thanks.

        • Colleen, I’m not sure. I know Jimmy has retrieved some of the videos from the seminar, but I’m not sure if everything was retrieved from the webinar.
          I’m going to direct you to Church Protect, and have you send a question to Jimmy in the contact me section. I know you’ll get an answer right away.

          http://www.churchprotect.org/contact/

          I hope this helps! :-)

Comments are closed.