Because this blog is growing and being shared by thousands, I am hearing more and more from adults who were sexually abused when they were children. I must tell you that every time I hear another story, my heart bleeds just a bit more. I had no idea that so many children have suffered silently in this horrifying pain!
It is always so wonderful when I hear of victims of abuse who have come through this dark, painful tunnel of despair and are now survivors. They’ve made it! Most of them will say, “I’ve found a Savior. My God delivered me from the pain that was part of my life all of my childhood. I no longer feel the chains of shame. I no longer struggle with the daily fear. I no longer am filled with hatred and rage. I am free.”
We should learn to follow our gut instincts. When something seems “off” or just doesn’t feel right, there is probably something wrong. When something seems so totally “odd” that you being to lose sleep over it, then pay attention while you’re tossing and turning in bed at night.
Listen to what your gut feelings are telling you!
I knew something was very “odd” and “unusual” when the man I was married to began searching for a job as a live-in male nanny – a “manny” as he affectionately called it. I was a bit more than irritated at him. He had 5 years of college education, several years of experience as a preacher and also as a substitute school teacher. He sold insurance for almost thirty years. And, now at age 59 his life passion was to be a live-in babysitter! There was something wrong, but I sure couldn’t figure it out! Continue reading →
There are three words that every survivor of sexual abuse needs to hear, yet so often those words are never spoken! These three words would make all of the difference in the world when it comes to healing. Survivors of abuse have such a difficult time talking about their abuse, BUT when they make themselves vulnerable and say, “I have something to tell you” , they are at a pivotal time in their lives. This takes guts — lots and lots of courage and guts — to say, “I’ve been abused”, and that is why these three words are so important to hear. Continue reading →
At first I sympathized with Dottie Sandusky. I, too, walked in her shoes. The man I loved and trusted and shared my life with was living a double life. The man I married was a pedophile, too, and on some level I connected with Dottie Sandusky. I cried for her when her husband was arrested. I cried for her when she learned the truth about the man she loved. I cried for her because I thought she would stay awake at night crying for the victims who were harmed by her husband. I cried for her because I knew how hard it is to realize that your life has been a lie. I cried for her because I thought she shared the same brokenness that I feel every day of my life for those whose lives have been tormented and shamed and pained in terrible ways by the man I loved.
If you’ve been following along with my story about being married for almost forty years to a practicing pedophile, you know that we finally separated. But, it wasn’t because I knew that he was a pedophile. Far from it! That knowledge wouldn’t come until four long, heart-ache filled years later.
Living in a fog — that’s the only way I can describe the first few weeks of our separation. The one thing I dreaded most in life — a failed marriage — had finally become reality. And, even worse was the fact that everyone would know that I was a failure. I live in a small community and because our family was so large, we always seemed to be a topic of conversation, and this was definitely a topic people loved discussing!