It’s difficult for me to imagine that so many others have lived a life very similar to mine! I find solace in knowing that I’m not alone, but I also find deep heartbreak knowing that abuse is still happening. It’s impossible for me to put into words how I feel about knowing for a fact that children continue to be sexually molested every day. There are times when I can’t sleep at all because that thought haunts me every minute I’m alive.
The conversation today was actually very deep and solemn and beautiful on many levels. We spoke of all of the pain in this world — especially the pain that comes to little children. We talked about ways we could help take better care of the children in our community. We were both sad that we felt as though we should be doing more, but didn’t know exactly what to do or how to do it.
The response to the video on suicide and depression was overwhelming! If you have emailed me and I’ve not answered yet, I will get to you. Thank you so much for your patience. Abuse and depression and suicidal thoughts go hand in hand and that is just one more reason why we must do our part to stop child sexual abuse from happening!
If you are new to this blog, please begin here. This is my story about being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years without knowing it. This is my story about abuse and how we can recognize the red flags that something is wrong. This is my story about how we can work together to help prevent child sexual abuse as well as adult mental and physical abuse.
Because this blog is growing and being shared by thousands, I am hearing more and more from adults who were sexually abused when they were children. I must tell you that every time I hear another story, my heart bleeds just a bit more. I had no idea that so many children have suffered silently in this horrifying pain!
It is always so wonderful when I hear of victims of abuse who have come through this dark, painful tunnel of despair and are now survivors. They’ve made it! Most of them will say, “I’ve found a Savior. My God delivered me from the pain that was part of my life all of my childhood. I no longer feel the chains of shame. I no longer struggle with the daily fear. I no longer am filled with hatred and rage. I am free.”
We should learn to follow our gut instincts. When something seems “off” or just doesn’t feel right, there is probably something wrong. When something seems so totally “odd” that you being to lose sleep over it, then pay attention while you’re tossing and turning in bed at night.
Listen to what your gut feelings are telling you!
I knew something was very “odd” and “unusual” when the man I was married to began searching for a job as a live-in male nanny – a “manny” as he affectionately called it. I was a bit more than irritated at him. He had 5 years of college education, several years of experience as a preacher and also as a substitute school teacher. He sold insurance for almost thirty years. And, now at age 59 his life passion was to be a live-in babysitter! There was something wrong, but I sure couldn’t figure it out! Continue reading