Married to a Pedophile: “Why Don’t the Abused Tell?”

It’s been a while since I’ve picked up with my story of being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years — without knowing it.  Just hearing the word pedophile pains me.  And, finding out that while I was sharing my heart and soul with the man I vowed to love for all the days of my life, while I was having a family with the man I wanted to be the father to my children, while I was giving my all to my marriage — while I sincerely loved this man — he was molesting children.   I cannot put into words how this has changed me.  I cannot explain the lack of trust I now have.  I cannot adequately choose the right words for the daily pain that has come into my life knowing that this man I loved clearly was causing pain and devastation to so many.  Continue reading


Married to a Pedophile: A Talk With the Wife and Son of a Pedophile

I’ve grown to really dislike the words “married to a pedophile” yet the hard, cold truth is that I was married to a man who molested children.  I had no clue.  I thought he was genuinely kind.  I thought he was a follower of God.  I thought that he loved children, but my way of loving children and his way of loving children were worlds apart.  Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “What Messages Do You Want to Hear from Me?”

Writing has been a bit healing for me since my son’s death.  Healing because writing is an outlet — a way of releasing some of my heavy grief.  Writing is a way for me to feel like I have some value and I just might be able to help someone even in my brokenness.

I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking lately.  I’ve been asking myself the question, “What am I looking for when I feel lost, alone, and without hope?”  “What kind of message am I seeking?”  I know one thing — I love to hear a person’s voice!  Continue reading


Married to a Pedophile: “A Father’s Response from Prison about the Death of His Son”

Before I even begin to write to you today, I want to say thank you from the depths of my heart for all of the prayers, kind thoughts, and condolences sent to me following the sudden, unexpected death of my son. You have no idea what your expressions of love have meant to me.

Finding out my husband of almost forty years was a practicing pedophile caused literal pain to my heart — the kind of pain that hurts with every breath you take.  But, that pain has been nothing when compared to the pain of losing a child.  I can’t explain it — I can only say that all other pain I’ve had in my life so far pales in comparison to the daily Continue reading


Married to a Pedophile: “What Happens When Dad is Missing?”

Thank you so very much for all of the many comforting words following the sudden, unexpected death of my oldest son, Mike.  Your words have been like a healing salve to a wounded, hurting soul.  As a family, we’ve suffered some mighty big blows to the heart in the past five years, but nothing to compare to the death of my son.

When John was incarcerated for crimes of child molestation, our family dynamics changed immediately.  Without ever saying a word, Mike stepped up to the plate, and became a surrogate father, of sorts.  He was the oldest son — not an easy position Continue reading